It's so hard to try and deal with each day. I can be doing something and bang I'm crying. Like today we were watching the TV and the news came on. It was talking to a family in Gaza and the next minute I'm crying my eyes out. There was a brown eyed girl aged around 3 or 4 who was crying her eyes out because of all the bombing. It just got me thinking, that could be us. That could have been Aria.
It doesn't matter how hard I try and stay positive I cry. I cry because I no longer have her here with me. I cry because my days are empty without her. Life is so unfair. But, not just for me. For a lot of people in the world right now. My husband said to me the other day, he wouldn't want to bring a child into this world what with everything that's happening. Yet, I know this is true. But, I would do anything to have my beautiful girl back. To save her. To cherish her for the rest of my life.
I always have these questions in my mind, but I can never answer them.
What would Aria be like today?
How am I suppose to live the rest of my life and be happy, knowing she isn't with me?
How can I carry on?
Will this pain every end?
How can I laugh and smile, when I know she is not here?
How can I be happy again?
Will I ever know she is ok?
Will the tears ever stop?
Will the pain ever stop?
Just how???
These are just a few that go around my head every day.....and the biggest question is why my Aria? Just why?
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