When life carries on but you can't....

I don't know where to start. I have been ok....but now I feel stuck. Since we lost Aria is feeling like I'm stuck whilst the world carries on.

I'm on edge all of the time....I'm worried about everything and anything all of the time. I really hate it. I work part time....but I now feel I need to work more. Money is tight and I don't know how to sort it.

Because I don't mange to "sort" what was happening with Aria I am so hard on myself on day to day things. Like if I don't mange to do something I am so hard on myself. I try and move on but I really can't.

I blame myself every day for what happened to Aria. I apologise to Aria every day that I didn't manage to save her. Everyone tells me that I couldn't have saved her, but as her mum I should have saved her. I brought her into this world. She deserved to live.

Why is life so hard....why my Aria?

I just don't know why? I just ont understand why others carry on and leave us behind.

I just want my old life back...I need Aria back.