Will it ever get any better ?
- atphodgkiss
- Apr 25, 2024
- 1 min read
I haven't been writing on here much. Honestly because things don't change. Next week it will be Arias birthday. She will be 6. It hurts so much. I feel she is losing out on her life. I feel I'm losing out on being her mummy. I feel like I've been robbed.
I don't cry as much recently, I think it's because my anti depressants have kicked in. I've been able to take one step in front of the other. I still cry every day. I still think, why my Aria? I still get super jealous of others who have there children and who are having a new baby. I just want to be Arias mummy. I want to look after her. I want her to come running in and be here. I will never experience that every again.
I feel lost a lot of the days. I try and keep going and be positive. I do this for Aria and for the rest of my family. I just feel robbed.
It's been nearly 17 months since we lost her. It doesn't get any better . I feel like everyone else have moved on and I am stuck back in day 1. I hate it.
I just wish she was here and I just wish things were better.
I love you Aria Menai 💜 💜 💜
I can’t imagine any parent who has lost a child can ever really move on but you can move with
it maybe? There is no time limit for grief and everyone experiences and copes with it differently You do sound a little stuck though in longing for the past and it may be that you need help to come to some degree of acceptance. It may also be accepting that things will never ‘get better’ but they can be different. People are often stuck because of unresolved trauma, a sense of abandonment, guilt or because of avoidance of things that are very painful to experience. Sadly we can’t avoid these things forever and you probably need some professional help…
I understand. I do.