I think this week has been the hardest since Aria passed away. This time last year we were told Aria didn't have long left. So it's like the beginning of the end. We were told she would have a few weeks left with us.
It's been very triggering this week. On social media the memories show me last year. Showing me how she was ill and how we were back and forth to the hospital with her. It's like I'm re living it all over again. All I've done is cry and cry and cry.
I feel like I want to be sick. I know Aria was ill last year, but at least she was here. So when I felt like this I could hug her and sing to her or play her toys with her. Now I don't have her. I try not to burden the rest of my family with this. They have there own lives, especially the older kids. They need to make sure they carry on and blossom into beautiful adult.
But, boy do I feel lonely. I feel like I'm totally lost. Like I don't know how to carry on ...this is so hard....and it's only going to get worse. As more and more memories will come ....the 1st anniyof her death with come....I feel like I am falling apart bit by bit and I don't know how to carry on. I'm scared so very scared 💔
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