The last few days have been very difficult. I've cried a lot. I'm replaying Arias last few days in my mind over and over again. It really hurts. I have tried to keep positive but it's so difficult. I haven't been like this for a while. I just really miss her. I miss everything about her. It's so hard.
Some days I feel like I'm in a bubble and I will think I will see Aria again later on in the day. This might be a way my mind is keeping me going. It just hits hard when I get home and I know she has gone. That she will never be back here again as herself. This really hurts. All I ever wanted was a happy family. To be a complete family. To me we are broken. Without Aria it's just not the same. I feel like an outsider looking in on our family. I don't feel right. It's so hard to explain.
I see other children with their mum's or dads and I smile. But inside this eats me up. I want to be that mum with Aria. Doing what normal parents do with there children. But, it hits me that things will never be normal again. I will forever have to talk to Aria through her urn. If I want to hug her I will have to hold her urn. This kills me.
I just want her back and to be happy please 😭😭😭😭😭
I understand completely. I’m only 3 days in from my daughter’s death , but I find myself looking at other people and wondering why it had to be my daughter . It’s eating at me. I actually get angry. Why does life go on for other people? Why ? I understand how you feel.