It's difficult every day

It's so difficult so every day. I see everyone else happy. But, I am so miserable. I try and not be so sad but it's so hard.

Grief eats you up in different ways. Not only does it make you cry but it also makes you feel exhausted. Some days I don't do anything. I haven't got the energy to do anything. Some days I have just about the energy to get dressed. That's one thing I do every day, but anything passed this on those days I physically can't do much more. It's so hard.

I cry for Aria. This used to help. But, the crying no longer sooths me. It makes me feel angry. Angry that there is no cure. That she had to go through all she did. Angry that no medical intervention has been found. Angry I didn't go more. Yep. I am always apologising to her for me not doing more. This is natural. As a mother you want to protect your children and save them. I see and read about mother's hurting there kids and this makes me angry. How dare they . Do they know how lucky they are!!

Yesterday, I cried and carried on. Probably the same will happen today. But, I know I love Aria and I always will. I may not have the energy to shout her name everywhere at the moment. But, one day I will. She will not be forgotten about. The world will know about my beautiful, brave daughter Aria 💜💜💜💜💜💜