Why?

Why is always the question I ask. Why did this happen? Why my Aria? Just Why?

It's something nobody can answer. Noone can answer why it happened and why it had to happen to Aria. It doesn't get any easier, why? Because the one thing that would make it better is no longer here. She made everything ok.

I've been back to my doctor's and they have prescribed me a higher dose of medication that I take twice a day. Which it's very early days, but I'm hoping they will work. I had a scan done the other day. I have a hernia. That's what the lump is that I have. I was told I can't get stressed! Hello, have you lived my life, do you know that all my life is at the moment is stress! It's so hard not to be stressed. What with everything that's happening.

I just don't know how to live with Aria. I feel sad most days. I feel guilty if we do something and we laugh. I feel she should be with us enjoying the time with us. It's just not fair.

I'm pulling away more and more from my outer circle of family. Plus I'm not really on social media much anymore. I just want it to be me and my family. That's all I can cope with at the moment.

Why? I don't know 😞