Is ok just to go through the motions each day?

I keep asking myself,is it ok just to go through the motions each day? To not actually live but just to keep going. Because, this is what I do.

My typical day is

• I get up

• Get ready

• Take Arias older sister to school

• Come back

• Feed the animals

• Sit down

• Put the TV on try and eat something

• Exist and get through the day

• Make tea

• Go to bed

Honestly, this is my day. If you actually asked me what I did. I couldn't tell you or what was in the TV, I couldn't tell you. I just don't take it in. Or my mind doesn't want to repeat the day....as this is the same each day.

I haven't been able to get to work. I'm just a mess. I just don't feel like me anymore. I don't feel I'm living. I'm just here. Without Aria it's like a huge part of me has gone with her.

I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to met up with anyone. I don't want to do anything. Just cry and try and get though another day. Is this grief? Am I suppose to be this disconnected from the world? Or is this just me? I don't know. Everyone deals with grief differently. I see others ok and able to go to work and manage each day. They socialise with others they seem to be able to cope a lot better than I do. I just feel like this black cloud isnt moving. I'm stuck in a horrible nightmare....which I wish I could wake up from.