This week has been a bit of a down week. I've had no energy to do anything. I know it's going to be hard for a few months as this is when we were told the worst..Aria declined and she passed away. But, for now all I can do is go through the motions. Get up,take her sister to school and just potter around the house. I don't really leave the house. I can't face anyone. I go out when I need to take Paige to school or to pick her up. But other than that I stay in the house. Aria is here, so I want to be close to her. I don't want her to be alone. I hate the fact that I can take her with me, but I would be scared to take her little lamp (as her dad calls it) and drop it. I would never forgive myself.
I really wish things were different. I would really love to have her here with me. I wouldn't want her in any pain but as a healthy 5 year old. It kills me knowing her birthday will pass and she won't be here.
I just miss her. The tears are heavy each day. They are not as of yet getting any lighter and the pain doesn't get any easier. It's still very early days..I hate this. I have no idea how long this will last.....I wish things were different 😔😞💔💔
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