I still don't feel things are getting better 😞

It's still so hard, even after 13 months of lossing Aria. Yesterday and today I've just cried. All I've had to do is look at her picture and I'm crying. It may be because I feel exhausted after a week's work. Maybe because of this I'm more sensitive? I don't know. But, I'm missing my little girl so much.

I wondered today what she would like, I mean like toy wise? Would it be the same? Would she have moved on to something new? She would have been 5 and a half years old. I just can't get my head around some days that she's gone. I've cried buckets for her tonight.

I was tidying up today. I cleaned all around her toys. I noticed her sunglasses (one of many). I picked them up and they are full of her finger prints and food. I cried. Why did my little girl have to die? I just want her here with me. I want to be her mummy and look after her. Put her to bed and let her wake me up in the morning, by demanding her biscuits and juice. I would give anything for that.

Some people don't know how lucky they are by having their children around them and asking for something. I would give anything for that. To hear her running in my room and laughing her head off.

This is killing me. It doesn't matter how many days have passed I am still struggling. The struggle is so real. I hate my life. I really do. Without Aria in it, it means nothing. This pain is eating me up . I just want my baby back please 😭😭😭😭