I am really trying to "carry on" each day. But, it's so hard. I miss her so much..this life is so unfair. I keep watching her videos and I do see how she declined. Why did she have to have Dipg? Why my baby? I miss her terribly. It really hurts. Even now. I hear other children playing and laughing, calling mummy and daddy....I feel jealous....heartbroken....why can't we have that. Why do we have to suffer each day? Well, me. I don't really see my husband struggling like I do. He says he deals with it differently than me. He thinks of all the positives and keeps going. I just feel robbed. Like someone has stolen smithing so precious from you. You know you will never get it back, but you grieve constantly. It hurts.
It hurts super super hard at the moment,the pain is unbearable. I talk to Aria every day. But, it's not the same. I get told she is with us, but it's not the same. I try and stay positive, I just can't. It's breaking me slowly. Like a jigsaw, bits of it goes missing, that's how I feel. Like I'm breaking bit by bit every single day! How can I carry on? The most precious person in my life is dead and I can never get her back. It's killing me slowly. I hate this....I just want to stop the pain. I want to stop the crying...I want to be ok again....will I ever be ok again? I'm not too sure 💔
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