Today I am really struggling .I don't feel great at all. I feel really down. I have cried so much today. I've sat in Arias bedroom and cried asking her to come back. I just need her here with us. Life really isn't the same without her. It's heartbreaking. I feel totally lost without her. She gave me a reason to live. My other 3 kids are older and they really dont need me as much. They have there own lives. I feel so alone. I have tried to explain this to my husband. He understands, but feels helpless. I have been for counselling and been to the GP for her. Nothing is working. It's been 17 months now without her, I feel really lost and totally alone. It's like the grief is eating me from the inside out. I try not to go on social media a lot these days as I feel seeing kids who are ill, triggers me. It makes me feel like I'm back holding Aria when she passed away.
I hate this. There is no answer. I have to struggle on. I am really trying to keep going. It's just so hard. Life is so difficult, I just don't know what to do. I wish I had a magic wand, so I can go back to bed with Aria when she was ok. I hate living without her 😭😭
I lost my adult daughter suddenly on January 13th so I understand . I’m still struggling terribly too, but several things have helped me to deal with the pain and grief. First , my faith in God. I have prayed and asked him to help me have some peace so that I can survive her death. I told God I couldn’t survive it if he didn’t help me because I’d already lost her father in 2015 and I just couldn’t make it through this. God has been faithful and helped me. Also, I joined a grief support group at my church. I didn’t think it would help me but it has. I learned a lot and felt so much supp…
I'm so sorry. You describe someone struggling with trauma and with avoidance such is understandable in trauma but ultimately is self destructive. Wishing for and dwelling on something you can never gave, i.e. having Aria back, is part of this but does not help you find some acceptance. Accepting she is no longer in this earthly world and building your life around this acceptance is going to be extremely painful but also important if you want to have some semblance of peace. That is not the same as forgetting her but its about taking your grief forward with you rather than being suspended in the past wanting what you can never have. Believe me, your other children need you jus…