I am struggling so much. I just want life to go back to how it should be. Not how it is. I cry a lot. I miss Aria every day. It really hurts.
Nothing makes it better. The only time I'm ok is when I take my tablets and I am numb. I'm fed out of having to put on different masks for different things. Like a mask for work, I mask for being out, a mask to let people know I'm ok. Honestly, I'm not ok. I'm lost and miserable. I miss my little girl so much. She would have been 6 and a half now. She should be enjoying being off school. Enjoying being a little girl.
I still feel guilty. I feel guilty for brining her into this world and not being able to save her. I feel guilty for what she went through.
I just want her here, happy and healthy. I'm so fed up of feeling like this. Feeling so low and miserable all of the time. It's been 20 months of hell.
How am I suppose to carry on? I don't know. 💔💔💔
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