Each day is a living nightmare. That's the only way to describe it. How I'm trying to live each day without Aria. I don't think I am living I think I'm existing. Not for me but for my family. Honestly, if I didn't have them I don't think I could cope. Some days I can't. Today I couldn't cope. All I've done is cry.
Today we cleaned where Aria's things are and where she is in her urn. Or how my husband says, in her genie lamp. I think this helps him. We took everything down and cleaned everywhere. I cried and cried. I just couldn't stop. What parent wants to have to clean there child's urn and things. No parent wants this. I dont want this. I'm living a nightmare. I'm just here. Maybe not in mind but body. I'm just going through the motions of every day, wishing it was different.
I think I'm living a real nightmare. I must be, because how else can I carry on. This is no life. This is not where I want to be, where any parent wants to be.
Today is a bad day. A day where all I've done is cry. My husband has had to hold on to me and just hug me as he doesn't know what else to do. I just say over and over again in between the sobs, I just want my baby back please. I just want her back. This will never happen . I won't just wake up tomorrow and she comes running into our room demanding her biscuit and juice. Oh how I wish she would.....I hatet this. I really do hate my life. No mother should be in this amount of pain....no parent should be. It's unforgivable to be in so much pain.
I just want my baby back please ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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