I feel like I'm drowning

I really feel like I'm drowning in the pain I'm in. I don't feel like it's getting any easier, I feel like it's getting harder. I'm finding it harder each day to carry on like everything is ok. When honestly I'm not doing ok. I'm struggling to come to terms with losing Aria. I'm trying so hard each day. But, deep down I'm drowning in pain of losing Aria.

It's been 18 months. I'm so tired of everyone thinking I'm ok. That I'm strong and I'm ok with what's happened. I don't know how I'm going to carry on. I'm not strong, I'm struggling and I just want Aria back. I want my little girl back. I want to hold her again. I want to be here mum again. I know this will never happen. But, it's killing me every day.

I just want my Aria back please 😭 😭 😭 😭