As the memories replay back to me from this time last year, I start the whole beginning of the end again. It haunts me. This next 2/3 days is when Aria declined and passed away. We placed her in our bed on my side and I didn't move from her side the whole time. I didn't let go of her hand at all. If I was told to go to the shower etc I had to make sure she had someone to hold her hand.
As they have her medication to make her sleepy and for her not to be in any pain, I kept talking to her. Reading to her. We had the TV on in the day, just like how she wanted it.
I told her not to be scared, that's she will be free soon. That mummy will be upset, but it's ok for her to go and be a little girl again. I said a few other words, which only Aria and I know.
This really really hurts. I haven't felt pain like it before. I keep for my little girl. But, it doesn't help at all. In fact I just want to scream. I want my little girl back. I want us all to be happy again. I am misrable. I have had enough. It's nearly been a year and I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. When will this ever stop. I just feel like curling up in a ball, leave me alone. I will be ok. I just wanted Aria in my arm, happy and healthy. It's not a lot to ask for.
I just need my little girl please........
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