It's so hard to live "normal" again I think after losing a child. I don't think I will ever be ok again. I'm so used to a busy house with the 6 of us, now Aria isn't here I feel like we are broken as a family. The house is quiet and most days I'm alone. It's horrible. I hate it. I loved having a big family and being busy every day. I know my older kids have to move on, that's life. But, it's so hard to handle this. I'm so used to Aria sitting at the dinner table with her iPad, eating something. Whilst I'm cooking tea. I look at the table now and noone is there. To be honest, noone is ever home these days. I feel like a huge void is there. It's so hard to adjust to life like it is.
Honestly, I think this is why I spend most of my time in the house on my own. Not only does it make me feel safe, but I don't need to see people. To see families with there children. It just gets me so upset seeing kids the same age as Aria should be now. Enjoying everything. Life is so unfair.
I feel broken, totally. Do I know how to fix it? No. Do I want to fix it? I'm not sure. How do I fix it? I have no idea.
I always have this feeling at the bottom of my stomach..like something bad is going to happen. Hence why I hide. Yes I hide. It's better this way.
Sorry if you can't comment on here if you need to message me please go onto Arias Instagram and message me. Thank you so much
Thats the Instagram link.
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