I am so fed up of being in this much pain every day. I just want my baby back. I want to see her and be with her. I look back at her videos and pictures and I cry so much. She was so beautiful. She was my baby. But, I can't have her back and this really hurts. I feel like I've been living in a nightmare for 14 months. My only wish would for me to be able to wake up from this and my little girl is here and she is ok. I would give anything to be able to hold her again and see her again.
Yes I'm really struggling, it's so hard. It's like my heart wants to beat out of me as the pain is so hard. To be able to hold, add and talk to Aria again would be amazing. It would completely heal me. I feel so broken. The hard thing is, I don't feel like me. I don't feel like I give 100% to my other kids because of this pain I'm in. I'm trying so hard, but it's difficult. How am I supposed to live for whatever amount of time I have left here without my little girl? It's impossible! The pain never leaves it just moves into another part of me, like it's going into another room. Then bang it's back again.
I just want my baby back please ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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