How can I carry on without you Aria?

I love you so much Aria. It really really hurts that you are no longer here with us. I can no longer hold you or kiss you. You were the reason I woke up in the morning and carried on. You have my life a purpose. Now I don't have one.....I am totally lost without you Aria.

Mummy needed you to show me how to carry on. I look at your pictures and your videos and I cry. I cry so much. I miss you. It hurts so much that we no longer have you.

I can hear you laughing every day and that makes me smile. But, tonight I cry watching your videos. I cry because I couldn't save you. It was my job to make sure you were ok and I failed. I failed you. Mummy should have saved you. I'm sorry.

I want to scream and shout that this pain is eating me up....I sometimes can't breath because of the pain. It makes me feel like a useless mum that doesn't have her baby girl with her.

I'm so sorry Aria 💜