Grief is hard to fit into day to day life

I feel grief is so hard to try and fit into day to day life. Trying to live each day and have a "normal" day is so hard. It doesn't matter how hard I try and live each day and keep going, the next thing you know is I'm crying. Like tonight. The news was on the TV. There was a man who was talking he had mnd..so his talking was slower. It just took me back to when Aria was really unwell. At the end. Where she was loosing her speech. I just started crying. I hate this.

I just wish she was here. There is a massive hole here where she has left it. Nothing is the same.

I still talk to her every day. I ask her how her day has been. If she's eaten, gone to school or gone to the bath. I wait for her to answer then I keep going. It may be weird to others but this helps me to keep going every day. I cry sometimes and it doesnt make things better. Other times just by talking to her makes me feel better.

She is here with her. I can feel her, I can hear her sometimes, I can smell her. It makes me smile as I know she loved being at home. It was her favourite place. Her safe place. It's my safe place.

I miss you Aria, but I really hope you can hear mummy talking to you every day.

Love you 💜💜💜💜