I'm so tired of this pain. I just wish it would ease just a little. Or can I just sleep and not have flashbacks. I have no idea how other parents cope with this as I'm not coping at all. I'm sinking......every day....it just gets harder.
I drove Arias older sister to school today as I do most days. On the way home I started to cry. I was alone, I cry alone these days. It's easier. I just wish Aria was still here. I hate this. The pain is unbearable. I try and keep busy and do things....but bang ..the memories or something triggers me to start crying again. The pain of her not being here hurts so much. I feel like im being torn apart from the inside.
I've read a lot of book, I've done meditation, I've seen counsellors, I've been to the doctor's.....nothing is helping. I'm trying to think positive but all I want to do is scream. Scream and show how much pain I'm in.
I just want her to be here and for everything to be ok again. I'm sinking.....I tell my husband I'm sinking and I see the worried look on his face and how he can't do anything. It's been 10 months and I am no closer to being ok then when all of this started in December. Why? Why us? Why Aria? Why can't I cope? Just why?
I hate hearing that you are in so much pain ..I see her dear little face and know the torture it must be ..keep writing these and we will reply ..I don’t know if it helps but just know that we are here ..sending love to you now and every day ..💜💜💜