Aria, mummy is lost without you. The grief hits me in waves. I cried today a lot. Mummy's car is broken. But, daddy as amazing he is had a look at it. He spent 3 hours looking at. Bless him. He turned around and said I'm sorry I can't do anymore I think we will have to get rid of the car. I cried hearing this. The car is just a car a piece of metal. But, it has you all over it. Your hand prints on the window, your foot prints on the back of the seat. All the stickers you placed on the cars table where you sat. Even, most probably have some crumbs of what you are left behind. I haven't cleaned anything from where you sat. I'm so scared. This is all I have left of you. This can't be replaced. I can't just put this in another car. As you won't be in another car.
After daddy put everything back, I just cried. The tears of sadness of having to replace a car without any part of you in it. Daddy then tested the car....and it worked. I cried even more. I said thank you so much to daddy. We are not sure how much longer we can keep the car going but for now it's ok.
It's so strange how something like a car can make me cry so much. It's not being able to replace it with what you left behind I think it's the worst part of it all.
The tears are heavy today....I just wish things were different. I just wish you were here with us. So we could try and get a new car and you could leave all your hand and foot prints on the car.
To this day Aria, mummy is so sorry for not being able to save you. I should have saved you. You were and are an amazing and beautiful little girl that will always have a piece of my heart. I miss you terribly.
Mummy will never forget you and I will always say your name. Aria Menai 💜💜
コメント