Today has been one of those days where everything has made me cry. Looking at anything of hers has made me cry. Which normally this keeps me sane. Makes me think that she has left for a few hours and she will be back. Sometime this helps me cope with the fact that she is never coming back in person.
I talk to her ever day. People may think this is weird but I have to. Again, this keeps me sane. I ask her how she is, what she's up to and if she's ok? I tell her I love her a million times a day. I blow kisses to her and I always kiss her urn. As this is all I have left of her. So I know she is with me. Yet some days this is not enough, as I just want her back physically.
I know she had to go as she was very ill and she had had enough. I feel so selfish wanting her back. As I know it wouldn't be fair keeping her here ill.
As I try and navigate each day I am blessed with my family. They keep me grounded and keep me going. Without them, especially my husband who knows how I would cope. He puts up with so much from me. He is Alway my rock.
It's so difficult navigating through this grief, I'm trying to understand the new me. As when Aria left she took a huge piece of my heart with her 💔
You aren’t selfish, and what you’re describing is the awful journey of grief. Everyone grieves differently, and everyone goes through the different stages of grief at different times. I’ve never lost a child to death , but I have lost my husband of 33 years and my grief journey was different every day. One day I managed to get through the day okay and the next was a nightmare. Ups and downs. Bearable and unbearable. The craziest things would cause me to cry. It’s not fun. You’re not selfish and you’re not doing something wrong. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to touch her things and feel sad or to feel comfort from the memories. Just…