Are things better.....nope 😔😭

I really wish I could be saying that things are better and I feel ok. But I feel worse or the same.

We had our grandson here with us for tea tonight. Which we love. I carried him to Arias room and I cried. I cried buckets. Bless him, he put his head on my shoulder. I needed that, but how I wish it was Aria that was giving me that hug.

It hurts so much. That she isn't here with us. It really doesn't get any better. I miss her terribly. I miss being her mum. Sitting with her and colouring, or playing with her play doh. She used to help me make tea, this when my emotions go wild. I miss having her next to me and helping me. Or watching her sit at the dinner table eating her piece of bread and butter (which she loved) and watching her iPad.

I feel lost. I feel like we deserve some good or positive news in our lives. I wish Aria was here and able to say, it's ok mummy I'm here. Then give me a hug. That's what she did when I cried.

Honestly, I'm just counting the days until I'm back with her. Sad I know, but what else do I have, I don't have her anymore 😭 😭