Anxiety knocks me down so much

It doesn't matter how hard I feel like I try I feel like I am not getting anywhere.

Today I went shopping and I felt my chest hurt. The tears came and I felt I couldn't breath properly. I knew I was having a massive anxiety attack. I sat in my car to get my thoughts together and try and calm myself down. Then all the negative thoughts came flooding in. The flash backs hit me. So I had to go home.

I hate this journey that I am on. Grief is earing me up and it doesn't matter how hard I try and keep positive or how much ai try and keep busy, this is really eating me up.

I try and seek help but I don't get anywhere. It's horrendous 💔💔