Just when I think I'm ok, bang it hits me again. Today I thought I was doing ok. I've been keeping myself busy. I went to support my eldest today. She was at her bfs granddad's funeral. It was at the same place Aria took her final moments with us, the crematorium. So, I wanted to go to make sure Abi would be ok. It did bring back Arias last day with us, but I wanted to be ok for Abi. To tell her how proud of her I was, she made it though the service and be ok.
I still worry about all my children. I think I over worry since losing Aria. It's not the same now since losing her. I try and be the mum they need. But, some days I don't even have the strength to be me. I just want to curl up and hide. Some days this is easier.
At the moment I have the energy to go to work and do everything I need to do. But, at night time I cry. I let all my emotions out. I hate this. I hate my life. I'm not ashamed to say it. Who wants to live knowing your 4 year old child is dead. That she is in an urn and that's all you can hug. You can't even hug her. I hate it
Life is precious, make sure you take every second of every day and make it count . If you are no longer speaking to someone make the effort and talk to them. Life is short. Make memories, make each day count. Don't lose out because of something silly. Keep making amazing memories, because one day.....that's all you will have 💔
It must have been so painful to have been there in that place.